Read about The Smooth Hands, and understand why I love them.

Tragedy struck this week in dusky woods of Bridgeport, Connecticut. The beautiful bodies of Adam and Luke, members of the popular teen music duo The Smooth Hands, were found by authorities after receiving a phone call from an undisclosed source. Forensic expert Rodney DunMorogh explains how the untimely deaths of these obscenely talented individuals took place:

"It seems that The Smooth Hands were out on their daily jaunt to gather berries" explains DunMorogh, "While distracted by Adam's provocative charm and riotous wit, Luke found his powerful legs snared in a rusty bear trap. Adam frantically tried to free Luke from the devil's jaws, but to no avail. Dizzy from exhaustion, Adam inadvertently sat on a bee hive, angering the one hundred thousand bees that were inside. He did not last long against the black and yellow demons. Luke, however, was still alive and in quite a good mood considering the circumstances. The evening drew nigh, the temperature was declining quickly. Desperate to stay alive in the bitter winter cold, Luke did the only thing he could do; he cut Adam open and slept inside of him. Unbeknownst to Luke, the bees had laid their bee eggs inside of Adam. Luke's manly musk catalyzed the hatching of the bee eggs. The irate bee babies then took Luke's precious lil life."

The Smooth Hands were scheduled to play The Acoustic Cafe on Friday February 3, 2006. They have never broken a promise, so please join them for this performance before their glorious souls are brought to heaven in a crystal carriage.

Join The Smooth Hands and friends at the Acoustic Cafe (2926 Fairfield Avenue - Bridgeport, CT - 06605) on Friday February 3, 2006 for The Smooth Hands' Happy and Healthy MP3 Release Party! Joining them in this celebration will be their bffs Stiz and Federal Bison. The party will commence at 9pm, finishing up around 1:30am. It will cost cost 5 dollars to get in the golden gates, but its well worth it, because there will be an unbeliveably high fun to dollar ratio. Below is some sugary sweet info on each of the acts performing. You'll never forget this party, it'll be like a silver dolphin swimming in your mind.

The Bands:

THE SMOOTH HANDS - The Smooth Hands tenderly record 1 minute love songs, on windows sound recorder, in one take, through a beautiful generic computer mic. Dan Barry of the Hartford Advocate says: "Singer/guitarists Adam and Luke unleashed an arsenal of twisted love songs that were half comedy act and half serious. The shit is bananas. Every song is exactly one minute long -- namely because that's how much time you have to record audio in the generic Windows Sound Recorder, The Smooth Hands' audio tool of choice." Oh my god he is so nice!

http://www.luzcruz.com/thesmoothhands
http://www.myspace.com/thesmoothhands

STIZ - Stiz is a comedian. His jokes have been described as intellectal comedy, a man that keeps you thinking and on your feet. So if you don't laugh at Stiz' jokes then you are just plain dumb. Comedians like Stiz are rare: only one in five laugh at their own jokes, one in ten wear glasses, one in twenty graduated from college, and very few earn a masters degree to fall back on in case he wasn't funny enough.

http://www.stizcomedy.com/

FEDERAL BISON - Federal Bison's goal is to write rock n roll music that is relevant to modern times, while incorporating classic elements. Their music reflects their live performance; high energy, no gimmick rock n' roll. They will be playing an acoustic set at the Acoustic Cafe on February 3rd.

http://www.federalbison.com
http://www.myspace.com/federalbison

We strongly urge you to come and join the celebration! Don't be a shy little seashell!