Tuesday Nights, Transformed (New Hartford Open Mics)

Tuesdays.

Suckiest night of the week.

For real! You can't gripe about it being Monday, but the better part of the week is still ahead of you. And if you go out on a Tuesday, you automatically feel like an alcoholic party animal with no sense of duty to society.

Which you basically are anyway, you scumbag. So seeing as there's really no hope for your moral growth and development, why not go out?

If you feel like hip hop,
Filthy Kleen is starting a new open mic at MiBar (1995 Park St.) that will carry on the legacy of their old Tuesday night hip hop open mic at Sully's.

If you feel like rocking out,
Andre Balazs (ringleader of the band of vagrants known as Bipolar Jukebox) is starting a new open mic at Sweet Jane's (88 Pratt St.). He says the audio there is sweeeet. They also plan on incorporating a "featured artist" spot into the set.

With hosts that good, you better believe both of these spots are going to blow up. You read it here first.